Hurt

I have hurt you
And there is no way that you could even know it.
Or perhaps you do know and do not want to admit it.
At least not to yourself.
So much that I must tell you, but I cannot out of fear.
I can not go forward and I cannot go back.
I sit and stagnate trying to find an answer that eludes me.
I want to talk and relieve my guilty heart.
But how do you tell someone that they have changed?
I want to cry, but the tears will not come.
I want to feel, but my life has become numb.
I drive onward into infinity, but I do not move.
I want you to understand that this was a mistake.
I never should have taken you, knowing that it would be
The same as before.
It is not you that does this, but me.
My past haunts me and calls to me to join it.
And as always, I will follow because I am weak.
I am sorry but though I try
I cannot change what I am.